it could just be me, but who else feels like, besides taking the heart rate at every prenatal check up, before around 37 weeks or so, the doctors don’t seem to give a flying fuck about the baby? mostly, they focus on the mom, tests and weight and shit like that, but then right in the last month or so, suddenly, they seem to become very preoccupied with the baby. for some reason everyone enters panic mode. “how are you today?” “fine. just tired and a bit swollen.” “yeah, the heat can do that to you. try to take it easy. so, is the baby moving?” “um, yeah…i mean, not this second…” “good. just be sure to come in if you don’t feel him moving at least ten times in two hours or if anything seems weird or usual, okay?”
jesus. at least this time i’m not being subjected to non-stress tests every other day like in the last few weeks with ruth’s pregnancy. but still. why is it that it seems that everyone starts getting into panic mode about the health of the baby right at the end when the whole rest of the pregnancy, they seemed like an after thought? i can’t help but think it must have something to do with insurance or liability, call me jaded. the tension in the room is palpable when they put the fetal heart monitor on my belly with the looks on their faces. i find myself holding my breath as it seems they leave it on there for longer than usual. “144 beats per minute, baby’s just fine…but if you ever feel like baby is not moving when he usually is, i need you to eat some fruit, sit down and count his movements.” what the fuck?
ruth has two bathing suits that don’t really fit that she has been alternating. “i have to look pretty,” she says. she wears them everywhere. no shorts, pants, or tights over them. just the suits and some shoes. they are both really too tight at this point, especially since i have to wash them every other day. “ruth, don’t you wanna wear some pants and a shirt or something?” “no.” sweet. like i’ve said before, i could care less what she wears. it’s just the sun exposure i’m worried about. those bare pale legs and arms that are prime for frying up like bacon in the sun.