well, here it is, the due date. maybe i’ll reorganize my sock drawer. like i said, it’s not that i’m ready. good god, no. it’s just that i can’t keep living like this. waiting. every time i see someone and it’s been a few days, they comment. of course they do, don’t they? still pregnant? complete strangers get that bug-eyed look as i walk past and feel like it’s okay at this point to say things like, “you are about to pop any day!” i should retort back, “and you look like you’re already balding in your early thirties.” or some other unnecessary comment about their physical state. two can play at this game, guy.
greg said to me, “we should try to induce labor….wink, wink…” don’t touch me. don’t even think about touching me, unless it’s to rub my achy belly and back. there will be no wink, winking from now until another six weeks postpartum…so just go wink, wink yourself. i can barely even roll over in bed, bend over any more, so unless you have a zero gravity machine…? maybe i could borrow one from NASA. think my insurance would cover it?
yup, just another day here…ruth will be up in an hour or so, demanding to watch elmo with her breakfast. then, she’ll inevitably have some break down about her clothes. then a slew of time-outs. then, we’ll just try and navigate another day of staying close to home, entertaining ruth, trying not to go crazy. at least it’s nice out. see? i can look on the bright side sometimes…
well, i asked for this. i said, “don’t come until past your due date. i’m not ready.” i said he’d be on time or later, so i predicted it. so, it’s not that i’m surprised. maybe it would have been nice to be surprised just this once. ya know? i like surprises just as much as the next person.
the labor bags are sitting by the door, getting dusty. much of what was packed inside of them has been unpacked, so they are looking like deflated party balloons these days. we have eaten and replenished our labor snacks supply like three times already. i barely pay attention to contractions any more. it’s all just more of the same impotent activity of my lazy uterus. it just can’t get up the oomph. it must be french.
you start to get stupid. thinking that because the date matches up a bit, today will be the day. like 5/5/2013. that would have been a cool birthday to have. nope. or here’s greg the other morning, “i’m listening to rod stewart, so you know something weird is about to happen.” greg started his leave from work. “maybe you should go in this week,” i said yesterday evening. this could go on for another week and a half. “damn it,” he said, “i’m ready! where is this baby? i got my hunting license, the raised beds are all planted…” “what does any of this have to do with our baby?” i asked. “a lot.”
well, i guess i’ll be going for a walk now, to get things moving. at the very least, my legs are really toned. and my dog is also in good shape as i usually bring her with me unless it’s one of those mornings when i can’t stand her….i’m not sure what kind of morning this is yet…..