and about fifty files lighter thanks to my brilliant self not heeding the warnings of the ‘all and powerful Dell’ and backing up everything before i shipped the big oaf…er…love you…off. i thought it was just a cautionary suggestion. as with most things in life, i turned out to be wrongy wrong wrong and also have had to learn the hard way (i’m sorry. is there another way to learn things? if so, lemme know. don’t text me, though. i don’t have text on my phone).
what i’ve learned by not having a computer while being a stay-at-home parent for a little over a week is that the country station plays about fifteen songs on a pretty consistent loop all day. i can only assume it’s because these are the only popular country songs that anyone cares to hear at the moment and that most people just flip to the station hoping one of them is on in between their usual hip-hop listening. i mean, what schmuck honestly listens to one radio station all day any more? right here. table four.
also, country songs, though touted as more down-homey and true blue american value packed, are actually surprisingly, if you ever listen to one enough to actually catch the lyrics, if anything, more misogynistic than the latest in twerk-friendly popular music. scandalous. another thing to check off the list of things to shelter my kids from.
speaking of sheltering your kids, all of this non-computer portal availability had us scrambling for something wholesome to do on a saturday night just a little while ago. family movie night and our usual gratuitous bowl of popcorn would have to wait for another time. plus, we were trying to be all “off the grid” people and to get back to authentic experiences, remember? greg wanted to show ruth a hockey game. real time. true life. in the stands where you can smell the rubber of that weird material that the floors are made of, feel the cold chill of the ice rink, and um…hear the roar of the crowd? ok, that part didn’t go over too well.
“i don’t remember these things being so loud,” i yelled to greg over the din of high schoolers revved up on hormones and monster energy drink. “what?!” he said, already immersed in the game. we made it to the second period of a random high school game over at the local arena on ford road and sat down awkwardly among the parents and high schoolers with our two young kids. maybe we could have passed for someone’s older siblings or cousins with kids, i guess, but i felt like we were sticking out, as usual, like a sore thumb. i feel this way any time i’m somewhere with kids where kids are usually not. ruth started freaking out a bit on my lap, tensing her whole body and covering her ears. i felt the usual pangs of uncertainty as i looked at her, wondering if we had just wasted the ten dollars on admission. a loud buzzer sounded and then some music started to blare. “i think we’ll get some popcorn,” i said and ushered ruth by the hand out into the lobby-type area.
“i want to go to the kids area,” she said looking around as though a jungle gym was going to pop up any second. i wondered if we had misled her somehow. clearly she didn’t have much interest in the game. “ruth, there is no kids place. we’re here to watch the hockey game,” i said brightly as if i was trying to sell her something. she wasn’t buying. “do you want some popcorn?” i asked and her face lit up.
well, we made it through the game, the final period anyways, so at least greg got his fix. it was all a blur to joel, i’m sure and when i asked ruth if she liked it, she glared at me and said, “no.” so, another thing we’ve jumped the gun on, possibly putting a shadow over the word ‘hockey’ that may stay with her for the early parts of her life. first impressions can be important. so they say.
well, here i sit. one ‘h’ key richer. a bunch (don’t even wanna think about it) of folders poorer. 6 am and18 degrees. must be a heat wave. where’s my bikini? joel is pee-soaked but sleeping, an ok combo. ruth got up once tonight with a pee soaked bed but is now snoozing serenely on clean sheets. and i’m free as a bird. what to do with myself? think i’ll finish my coffee and then who knows? maybe something crazy like the dishes. look out! i’m back.
side note: scary scary scary what the high school and even middle school girls are wearing/looking like these days. shudder. time to finalize plans to ship ruth off to the convent by the time she’s thirteen…better make that eleven.