well, i’ve never been a super sterile person. i sometimes pretend to be a germ-a-phobe, but i’m really the kind to eat food off the floor, drink expired milk and, in general, be a slob. i’ve never been too into personal hygiene either, save for a short self-conscious bout in high school and then again when i entered the semi-professional world shortly after graduating from college. since becoming a stay at home mother, i’ve taken advantage of the fact that i never see anyone in a professional setting except my kids’ pediatrician and stopped waxing my eyebrows, upper lip and never wear make-up of any kind. i seldom run a comb through my hair if i can avoid it.
besides these tendencies, having small kids makes it even more unlikely that i will be dressed in anything other than what i wore yesterday. and showers and baths (one of my one true passions in this life) can be a shockingly rare occurrence. like…once a week? sometimes?
today was one of those days. where the greasy mess my hair had formed into was getting on my final nerve. to be brief, i needed a shower. “take a shower,” greg said, “i’ll watch the kids.” i was just about to get up and do so when ruth grabbed my arms and pulled my face really close to hers. “take a bath, mama,” she said. “why?” i asked. “so i can come with you and talk to you.”
so, there we were, enjoying my bath as the tub filled, ruth grabbing chunks of my what has recently become ridiculously long hair and flinging it around my head, pretending to be my personal stylist, when who should barge in the door, but brother, all a-whine, wondering where i had gone to and had tracked down my voice to the bathroom. he stumbled drunkenly toward me and started to screech in a way that meant he wanted me to get out and hold him or pull him in the bath with me and hold him. a few seconds later, in popped greg, realizing his charge had fled.
“welcome to my bath,” i said to all three of them looking at me as i sat naked in our tub.
so, we took a bath. me in the tub with three audience members, two of whom were vying for my attention and splashing water all over the bathroom floor and one chaperone.
this is a bath in my life. care to join me? the more the merrier.