for those following, I was a little concerned a couple weeks back because I hadn’t yet felt the baby move. and it’s baby number three. c’mon. I should have felt it implanting in the uterine wall this time around, right? well, I didn’t feel it at 14-15 weeks like I thought I might as I felt joel at 16 weeks. I didn’t even feel it then. nor at 18 like when I was a first time mother. nope. I didn’t feel this baby move until a few days ago. the day that I officially became 19 weeks pregnant.
so what? you’re thinking. what’s a few weeks difference? who even keeps track? mothers keep track. every time we have a pregnancy, most of us are probably constantly googling our amount of weeks pregnant to compare our bellies to random strangers’ bellies online, or to see what the fetus inside is looking like, how big it is, how human it is becoming. also, when you’ve been pregnant before and everything has gone well, you are always comparing things like that. because if things turned out ok in that one, you want everything to be the same for this one (the same is also true after the baby is born. I find, anyways). if things differ, sometimes you start to freak out. not that I do. I’m not the type, I think we all know that. cool as a cucumber over here.
anyways, the baby moved. and I felt it. and it’s freakin’ cool. and ruth even felt it, if you can believe that. with her little four year old hand attached to her constantly moving four year old body. like the sound of the heartbeat, it never gets old. those first fluttery feelings. someone is in there. and they are very much alive and well. each little touch a reminder that “we are not alone”. someone is knocking at the door, waiting for their time to come in, to enter into our (chaotic) lives. forever. hello, in there. I feel you. we are waiting for you.