Granted one of them is ON ME (joel) and I have to pee, so who knows how long this will actually last. Ruth is under the weather and is probably spiking a bit of a fever right now, is the only reason she is asleep mid-day (never happens any more). I have just finished an awesome loaf of banana bread (or as joel would say, “bee-na bread”) that is as sweet as candy. What? It’s still healthy, right? (dear albert Einstein, please don’t let my gestational diabetes test come back positive so that I can’t eat any more processed sugar until late june after the baby is born, amen). Though, I really should start avoiding my daily candy intake and processed sugars in general like I did in my late pregnancy with joel, because a midwife once told me that 33 weeks on is when babies gain most of their weight/fat and I have a lurking unresolved fear of having a monster large baby (though ruth and joel were both under eight pounds).
Ah, the gestational diabetes test. I hate that thing. Not just because I hate having blood drawn, which I do with a passion, but also because, call me irresponsible and irrational, but I hate having diagnostic testing of any kind done when I am pregnant, or really just in life in general. Really, I hate my prenatal appointments. Everything is fine until I have to set foot into the office and be weighed and have my blood pressure checked and then I start to FREAK OUT like at any moment, the other shoe is going to drop and some emergency situation is going to be discovered. If I had any balls at all, I would just avoid prenatals all together, eat well, exercise, take my vitamins and just ZEN OUT. That would probably be the best thing I could do for my pregnant self and my baby. I really envy women that skirt the system all together and let pregnancy and birth happen the old fashioned way: naturally.
So, for those that don’t know, for the gestational diabetes test, you have to down this nasty, chemical glucose concoction (I’ve read that one ingredient is actually paint thinner) that’s orange. “is it safe for pregnant women to drink?” greg joked to the nurse who handed it to me. her un-humored response was, “well, EVERY pregnant woman in this country drinks it, and believe me, it’s better than what happens if you have undiagnosed gestational diabetes.” (the scare tactics in avoidance of answers. The vague and power-shifting claim to information that we, as pregnant women, are all too stupid to grasp. Oh yes, I’m used to all of this subtle disrespect at prenatal appointments…another thing I would LOVE to avoid). That’s all well and good for the company that makes the nasty orange drink, they are raking it in, I’m sure, but that doesn’t really answer the question, does it, lady? I mean, it was perfectly well and good a few decades ago for all pregnant women to get x rays of their pelvises, wasn’t it? I mean, just ‘cause you are told it’s great and safe, doesn’t really make it so.
Again, if I had the balls, I would have refused the test. Greg told me I should just to see how high they would take it. But I can be quite a wimp when it comes to questioning and taking stands against authority figures, especially when it comes to pregnancy related stuff. I just want everything to be all smooth and happy. It’s a requirement to deliver where I want to deliver: the alternative birth center (ABC) at providence hospital. What bugs me about that place is that they purport to support natural childbirth, but only under certain conditions (i.e. your pregnancy better be freakin’ PERFECT) or you get “risked out” and have to deliver in the normal hospital. So, they require the test. “what happens if I have it? Does that mean I can’t deliver at the abc?” I asked. “it all depends on the severity of the condition. We have an ongoing dialogue with the doctors we work with about your case.” Damn, way to be vague, lady. Not only that, but hearing my pregnancy and eventual childbirth be referred to as my “case” perturbed me just a little bit.
I mean, I don’t think I have it. I didn’t have it with either ruth or joel. And would it really change anything? As I said, I plan to cut out all processed sugars soonish anyways because of my big baby fear. And I’ve been walking pretty much every day, getting my pelvis all wobbly and primed for birth. I don’t think anything would change if I did have it. But you can’t tell them that. Protocols are king in the hospital setting, even when you’re seeing a midwife. Even when you’re trying to deliver at this supposedly “progressive natural birth center”.
I really should just switch to a homebirth midwife. Though, something tells me that even they would have to operate under similar conditions, or be threatened with having their licenses revoked. As a pregnant woman in this day and age, you simply can’t be left alone. Unless you go it alone. Play hookie from the doctor’s office, skip out. Hey, reminds me of my high school days.