yes, it’s “my” day. the day I was born. all I want is not to have a hard time with the kids and to maybe even have one or two really nice, relaxing moments. but I won’t count on this. it looks foggy/rainy outside and I have a lot to do, with kids in tow, so I’m anticipating struggles and stress. but, what’s a birthday, anyways? it’s just another day.
I want to take this birthday to reflect on the importance of birthdays. ina may gaskin is a famous midwife, probably one of the main people responsible for the homebirth/natural birth movement that began back in the 60s. she writes in one of her many books about many of the problems of the world being caused by a lack of reverence and respect during peoples’ births. babies are traumatized at birth and carry this birth trauma around with them and manifest it in all kinds of negative impacts to society. the more I relax into my understanding of children and life, the more I believe in this concept. everything matters. that’s my main take-away point in having children.
since realizing this, I’ve done my best with my own children to give them the best, most trauma-empty start that I could. I haven’t succeeded in every way, but I did what I could with my own limited ability.
I’ve asked my mother about my own birthday. the day of my birth. what it was like for her and for me. and in a phrase, it wasn’t good, though it was arguably better than some. my mother said that I “got stuck” in the birth canal because I was sunny side up (posterior) and my nose got hooked on the edge of her pelvic bone. according to her, the doctor had to reach in and turn me so that I could come out. then, it was the eighties, so I was, of course, immediately detached from my cord, whisked away, roughly wiped, measured, weighed, and given eye ointment before being mummified in receiving blankets and handed back to my mom for a “look”.
ina may talks about, and I have also read some things about, re-imagining your own birth, how you would have wanted it in specific detail and how this can potentially heal things deep within your subconscious that you may or may not be harboring in your adult life.
I think it’s worth a shot. now, all I need is a half hour or so of complete peace and quiet in which to do it in. maybe in like five years…..
here’s to contemplating birthdays, the very first moments of a person’s life.