apartment chronicles

Despite the fact that apartment living is met with a seemingly universal shudder of revulsion by most of society, it’s honestly been fine.  Better than fine.  It’s actually been rather great.  In fact I’m finding myself so comfortable, there is a part of me that is resistant to moving back into a house.  Or maybe I just don’t want to move at all again.

You see, moving brings you out of your comfort zone on many levels.  It brings everything into question.  What is the purpose of my life?  Who am I?  Where am I going and why?  I have been likening buying a house with getting married.  Greg and I were content to live as we were, as boyfriend and girlfriend.  We were comfortable and fine with our feelings in regards to our relationship, which ranged from blissed out to ambivalent to morose.  Then, throw in the idea of marriage and all of a sudden, you start questioning everything.  What does it mean about us if we are married?  Who are we as a married couple?  If we fight and get bored with each other, does that mean we shouldn’t get married?  Doubting everything.  Feeling lost and ill prepared to make a decision and a commitment.  Actually, now that I think about it, I had similar feelings right before each of the kids were born.  So, I guess it is with any major life transition.  I wish people would talk about the realities of these things more instead of just putting up the false pretense of being perfectly confident and secure in their life choices.  People are annoying.  Scratch that.  Our culture is annoyingly competitive and superficial.  As a consequence of this, people are left to struggle with real emotions alone and in secret while outwardly pretending everything is peachy.

That’s my rant for today.  I deplore you, people, keep.  It.  Real.  I’m so tired of all this phony bologna.  Forget looking like you’ve got it down.  Let’s be honest: none of us has got it down.  None of us knows what the hell we are even doing here on this spinning rock barreling through space.  We’re all just space dust.  Big bang.  Look it up.

At the very least, if we have no idea why we’re here, we can at least embrace the things that make us human and bring us fulfillment.  Being in social situations, having a place.  Making connections with others.  Finding our strengths, talents, or interests and pursuing those.  Living balanced, being healthy.  Being outside, having a relationship with the natural world.  All the while, navigating the eternal compromise of humanity: how to get our needs and wants met while living in close proximity to others with limited resources.  This is what a human is, is it not?  Is this not the root of all societies and religions and cultures?

Less competition: that’s what we need.  Unfortunately, we are a generation raised on commercials.  From infancy, we’ve watched “perfect” people on television sets exist in an idealized fantasy life and have been in a constant state of comparison all our lives, always looking at them and looking back at ourselves and yearning for these things (whatever they are) that would make our lives better, would somehow bring wholeness and fulfillment not realizing all the while it was a capitalist lie conditioning us to become perpetually dissatisfied, competitive, ultra-consumers that our economy would rely on in the future.  Conspiracy theory much?

If we had less competition, there would be less need to look like we’ve all got it together and there would be room for discussion of the real experiences surrounding getting married, having a baby, moving/buying a house.   We would all feel much more accepted, validated and normal.  Wouldn’t that be revolutionary?  What would the economy do with a bunch of self-satisfied citizens that no longer had to buy a new purse to feel validated but could instead just open up their mouths and let their humanity out and form real connections with each other?  It would be like the great depression all over again.  Stocks and markets plummeting.  People getting back to basics.  The return of handmade things, gardening, austerity, appreciation for the things that, once all the excess is stripped away, actually sustain us.  Real, meaningful work.  Simple surroundings.  Relying on connections with others.  Hmmm.

What does any of this have to do with apartment living?  You got me.  Just another tangent brought to you by me:)



Author: Terry

Welcome! I am a Waldorf and unschooling-inspired homeschooling parent of three, ages 2, 5, and 8 living in the metro Lansing area writing from the front lines of parenthood. Join me as I try to navigate homeschooling and bask in the craziness of life with young ones. Feel free to leave a comment. I would love to hear from you! Thanks for stopping by!

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