spiders on the move

don’t you just hate it when you see a really fast moving spider…I mean, I’m talking a real speed mover of a spider…and then you lose track of it?  next thing you know, you start feeling things.  things like crawly things on you and you think it must be that spider.  that’s why it was in such a frenzy.  it was really chomping at the bit to get at you but biding its time until you glanced away and it could make its break toward you?  (rational side says not likely.  un-rational side says, “they have made worms’ meat of me!” and also, “then WHERE is it, then???”).

lemme take a swig of beer.

there.  cleared my head a bit.  getting a little paranoid around here.  spiders are on the move this time of year.  start to get real active and multiply.  in the day, pretty laid back.  night can be a different story in spider land.

reminds me of the ticks we’ve been havin’ around here ever since our camping trip south of the border (of Michigan and ohio, that is) where we seem to have picked up quite a few ticks.  that was two weeks ago but still today we found one on the dog’s ear and yesterday ruth reported at one point during the morning flurry of activity that miles had a spider in his hand.  now, being a mom and knowing what I know, though it sounds odd, I took it seriously because I know that ruth doesn’t lie and she’s very observant but I did wonder what in the hell she meant by a spider in his hand as I couldn’t really see miles being stealthy enough to actually bag a spider and hang onto it.  a few moments later, I wondered no more as ruth spotted the “spider” once more crawling nearby on the floor.  a tick, of course.

many people don’t know that ticks are in the spider family.  sure, eight legs and all that.  they do look like miniature spiders if you happen to have a chance to see one up close which I have had the chance to do a lot of late.  I captured it with tape, sealed it up in there and popped it into the little Tupperware bin we have got going.  our “tick collection” I say.  we’ve got four trapped in there so far, stuck in tape and contained where they can’t penetrate anyone’s skin.  one of ’em I had to pull out of ruth’s head with tweezers.  I mean….yuck.  and shiver.  and grimace.  right?

but besides ticks and spiders and epidermis dwellers and ceiling spinners I wanted to write about how the whole konmari thing is total b.s. with a capital B and a capital S.  because here’s the thing: two months ago, I would have sworn on my freakin’ left shin bone that these curtains I bought for our living room brought me joy.  at that point at that time of year, I would have placed my hand on any holy book you like and taken an oath that they were the freakin’ KEY to happiness.  yet now I feel slightly nauseated when I look at them.  ever have that?  where you feel utter disgust with your past self for ever deigning to bring something like some olive green curtains into your life in the first place?

see, that’s the problem with konmari.  half the time I want to curl up and blissfully snuggle with the things that surround me, they feel so homey and right.  other half the time, I want to take a blow torch and light up all my damn smothering overabundant shit like the 4th of july until it’s nothing but a pile of ashes.  ever feel like that?  like you actually hate all of your belongings?  like even to the point that they might be secretly conspiring to smother you to death in your sleep?  I sure as hell do.

and on that happy note, I’m going to bed.  but I’m keeping my eye on you, olive curtains…