open letter to ruth

dear ruth,

hey there, kiddo-be-giddo.  you’re snoozin’ right now with dad after a pretty rough day.  you’re just being a kid, but i’m not going to lie, you push your dad and i to the limit and beyond.  if you have kids of your own one day, you’ll know what i mean.  things have to be just so and even then half the time they aren’t right, or at least don’t feel right to your little still-pretty-new self and that calls for some big time screaming, carrying on and causing some pretty drastic uproar in our day-to-day lives.  we understand it’s hard to be a kid.  we’re all just trying our best to get by here in this life, be heard, connect with each other and feel like we get what’s going on to some extent.  and in this house.  in this family.  no one said it’s easy.

all that said, you still amaze us every day with your utter ingenious creativity.  your mind is always working, little neurons firing away.  you are the family comedian, always cracking your brother up with goofy faces or telling jokes, laughing your head off about something funny in one of your kids books.  you love movies and i get the feeling that you might be a real connoisseur of cinema.  i look forward to the day we can hang and watch movies together while dad putzes in the yard or goes off on one of his tangential lines.

and you love your brother.  and your brother loves you.  the best thing in my life so far is seeing you two together, a regular traveling laugh riot.  even when you get cross with each other and trade fisticuffs, it’s half-fooling with semi smirks on your faces.  you’re always watching out for your brother, keeping track of where he is and what he’s doing so he doesn’t break his dang head off one of these days.  i hope you are always close.

the other day you said, “i don’t love you,” and gave me your best glare.  but i know how it can be, sweetheart.  you love me even when you don’t want to and that’s just life right there.  i’ll try to always be someone you want to love and love.  instead of somebody that you don’t want to but can’t help but love.  that’s my ultimate goal right there, kid, you nailed it right on the head.

love mom up late thinking about you.